Sunday, June 15, 2008

Some Common Misconceptions

Adult Children of Divorce: Misconceptions/Stereotypes/Assumptions

Statistics and trends focused on the negative long-lasting effects divorce has on children has brought upon misconceptions about being an adult child of divorce. These misconceptions or stereotypes have made adult children of divorce become synonymous with failure, disappointment and misfortune.

The label of “adult child of divorce” will continue to be stigmatizing and shaming if we continue to believe these stereotypes hold any truth.
So let us set the record straight.

Don’t assume that my parent’s divorce will influence EVERY aspect of my personal life.

My parent’s divorce will not determine if I will initiate or terminate a romantic relationship or if I will marry or divorce.

If I am single, it is not necessarily because I am afraid of marriage or my wariness to trust others.

If I am married, don’t assume that I will sabotage my marriage to live up to what is expected - for my marriage to end in divorce. I can have a healthy marriage in spite of my parent’s divorce.

Don’t assume that my parent’s divorce is the WORST thing that could have happened to my family.

Don’t always expect people to always be upset or sad when they talk about their parent’s divorce, after all not all divorces are bad ideas.

Recognize that IT IS POSSIBLE to continue to have a close relationship with BOTH my parent’s regardless of their divorce. Not all divorces have to end with the children picking sides.

But if I ever do decide to not continue my relationship with either of my parents, in regards to the divorce, it was a choice I made and should be respected NOT judged for it.